Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I am 4 hours away from Albuquerque!!! ...Part 4

My Journey part 4

I awoke grateful that I had the extra money for this detour in my journey towards NM. I figured I had $300 to put towards a month rent somewhere and I pulled up the Albuquerque craigslist and started going thru roommates wanted ads and waited until it was 9am in NM (they are on mountain time and I was still on central time). Nothing was working out. People wanted to show me the room, but I was still 4 hours away and had no clue where anything was. I tried to put a call into my editor, who lives in Albuquerque, but something was wrong with her phone number, each time I dialed it I received a fast busy signal. Since we emailed all the time, I had no need for her cell phone and only had her home phone number.

Nervous started to set in. I didn’t even have her address with me so just driving to her house was out of the question since I had no idea where her house was. Now I had to come up with a whole new plan.

I thought, well maybe I should just check the Sante Fe area, since ultimately, that is where I want to end up. Room rents were much higher in that area, but I found two I was interested in. One was a retreat place that was renting rooms, another was a female my age with a son 18… ahhhh so much better than the many 20 year olds looking for 20 year olds in Albuquerque. Neither answered my call/email immediately.

I started deep breathing to get out of the rising nervousness that was moving up into my mind.

Then I got a facebook response from my oldest daughter who lives in Austin, TX reminding me she is getting her new apartment that very day and I should come stay with her.

What is funny, Austin was in my original itinerary and I dropped it from my travels when she told me she had to beg her boyfriend (who she lived with) for me to stay there. My heart was sad that I wasn’t going to spend time with her, after all she had come to VA twice to visit us over the last 3 years, now that I am going to be so close to Austin, I really wanted to spend time in her life, but I don’t want to feel like I am intruding on someone’s personal space either. I dropped Austin from my itinerary and changed my arrival date for NM.

Now the universe rearranged everyone’s life to make sure me and Michelle would spend some much needed time together. 2 weeks before I was to hit the road, Michelle sent me a text message that her and her boyfriend broke up (can I say shocked, they were wonderful together, and I really loved him in her life, even if he didn’t want me staying at his house.) She was living on a friends couch as she tried to find an apt for herself.

Keep in mind, Michelle is in-between jobs too. She works for a catering company that caters to magnet schools and she doesn’t return to work until school goes back. Her (ex)boyfriend was kind enough to give her the money to get an apartment so she had somewhere to live. She got the keys to her new apartment the day after my journey changed. I thought… why not! I so wanted to see her and now we can do it in joy and no weird feelings of being there!

I literally made a left turn at Amarillo Texas and started the 10 hour drive to Austin. I got a hotel after about 6 hours on the road, since she wouldn’t have the keys until the next day. I was so grateful and thanked the universe again… in awe at all that had to be arranged in order for her and I to spend time together.

As I drove towards Austin, I thought about my security deposit and Diana (my no longer house-mate). I had originally told her that I would come by the next day to pick up my deposit, I knew by her saying “if I am here I will cut you a check” that getting it back was not going to be easy. As the ego part of me went off on a tangent of filing court papers to get it back in Albuquerque, my spirit interrupted my tangent to remind me how much she is loved in spirit too. I could feel myself loving her so much and being reminded that I made it to this point in my journey because of the support of so many people. That she lives in a space within herself that no one supports her and that I should give her the security deposit as my way of supporting her. After all, she gave me (and my daughter) a most wonderful gift in simply being herself. With joy in my heart I wrote her an email and told her to keep the money I had given her and get a tent and air mattress for her journey (which she was supposed to use mine to camp her way to NJ.) I sent her love and thanx in my email and she removed me from her friends on facebook, which was perfect.

Before I left the hotel, I did send my editor, Dana, an email and told her what was happening. Sadly I didn’t update her as I traveled to Austin. She was away visiting her family so I left her a nervous wreck (I am so sorry Dana) and the moment she woke up she called me, insisting I come to her house and stay until I get a place of my own. I let her know I was in the midst of shifting to Austin, and for a fleeting moment, I thought about staying in Austin. My daughter did tell me it was the metaphysical capital of the world…

As I arrived in Austin, I knew that was not a true statement. The energy is so congested and thick. In feeling this energy and wondering why people would feel this is such a spiritually open place… because even my friend Rhonda claimed it as so.

I suddenly had information come pouring into my awareness/understanding. Let me see if I can put this understanding into English (smile).

A place like Virginia is a place where awakening takes place. The energetic are so heavy and dense that it really requires a conscious effort to climb out of the dark and seek the light. A place like Austin, people have understood there is a place of light, but they think it is outside of themselves somewhere (which is a natural progression of the journey). People will hold classes, sell trinkets like crystals and candles, all the things that allows the spiritual seeker to know there is more, but continues to seek outside of themselves.

So the true spiritual energy I had hoped to feel upon entering Austin, did not exist. It is simply a “lighter” part of the collective consciousness.

Then there are places that the spiritual energy of awareness, of true enlightenment resides in all it touches… NM is becoming that place on earth. Vermont is also a place like that.

I knew in my heart, I would be making the shift to New Mexico.

As I was with my daughter, I heard back from both of the people I contacted in the Sante Fe area. The lady with the 18 year old son was my favorite and I wanted to go there. The rent was reasonable, but now that I had to fill my tank 3 times and choose to get my daughter some immediate necessities (like food) for her/us, I no longer had the money to get a room. Not to mention I really didn’t have a way to get a “good faith: deposit to anyone from my current position. I know the lady liked me and was interested in allowing me to be her roommate (I give my website address as a way to get to know me… and to see the side of me some people may not like.) I told her to give me a few hours and I will work out a plan and I will get back to her.

I contacted Tony and asked him if he could lend me $300 to get a room, in a heartbeat he agreed. I would have him mail out the money to her… and it will be there before I arrived.

By the time I finally got back in touch with her the next day… she had already rented the room to a co-worker, but said her ex husband had a room for rent too… and she would contact him for me. I could tell this lady really wanted to help me… and I was in awe with her kindness and concern. She did call me back to say her ex husband had already rented the room… but that she will keep her eyes open for me incase something else came up that would be good for me. I thanked her and started to come up with a new plan…

On top of all this, my car insurance was due in 4 days. My youngest daughter is on my policy and she is going thru her own job/financial changes and I knew she did not have her share of the insurance money ($220) and because of an insurance claim from sliding on black ice, my insurance company raised my own personal rate $100 a month (the exact amount they paid out for the bumper repair). I called my insurance company to see if I could delay my payment 2 weeks, but they said because I am in a renewal period that they cannot do that. I had to pay by the 15th or they would cancel my insurance. My daughters car lone is with the meanest people on earth, Casey Honda, and they would shut her car off if there is a laps in insurance… I had to pay it!

So the money Tony gave me for a place to live, went to keeping our insurance paid.

In the meantime, Dana sent me an email telling me to come stay with her, that her husband and son are really good with me coming there… and the love she sent to me in her emails made me feel so incredibly thankful she is my editor, that is an energy that will enhance my book!

She had said she was going to Denver for a week to hang with her friend and would be back on the 19th, I said I would be there on the 20th. At this point, I just want to start the next phase of my life! Being in-between here and there is a very strange place to be!

I spent over a week with my daughter that was so amazing, so healing… did I say amazing? I am so proud of the woman she has become, and it is no thanx to me nor her father, her life has been a massive challenge and yet she emerged with a wonderful attitude and loving heart. I seen the beauty of the universe in her face… in her life and I am so utterly grateful my journey made this unexpected turn.

And today (July 20th, 2010) I am typing this out in the last of my motel rooms along the way, in Carlsbad NM. I will be leaving for Albuquerque in a few hours and embark on the rest of my journey… whatever that is.

The one thing that really baffles me about this road trip, is the gas that Texas sells. In the 3000 miles it took me to get to Austin, I had been averaging 400 miles to a tank of gas (at a cost of about $25 per tank). The time I spent driving and filling up in Texas (about 800 miles) I lost 100 miles per tank. Instead of getting my 400 miles per tank I am now getting only 300. What have they done to the gas they sell??

On a last note, I am arriving financially crippled. I have $75 left in my “gas” account (and at least another fill up before I arrive, and gas is expensive here in NM, more than anywhere else on my travels) and $60 left in my cash, with only $20 left on my paypal (I used my “fun” account to pay for the motel I am staying in.) I am so grateful the money I had lasted all this way, all this time and in the perfect amount to allow me to reach my destination… at least the Albuquerque part.

But I have absolute trust that the universe will rally together to cover my needs in whatever way it sees fit. I am open to receive….
The one thing I am absolutely sure of, I was always meant to spend some time with Dana, personal close time, something I would have never done had not my road twisted and turned so much!

I will continue to share my story on this blog in the days ahead. Thank you all for sharing this journey with me. Thank you to my car for being such a trooper and getting me safely to my new life!!



1 comment:

  1. I am so happy for you. I love reading about your journey Lisa,, it really touches my heart.
    Miss ya