When I started this blog my intention was to update it daily as I traveled my route from Virginia to New Mexico, but that intention fell apart before it even started. I was able to write about day one on like day 4 but the rest started to blur together. Then I realized as I pulled into my Arkansas campground for 5 days, I won’t even be able to use my laptop because they told me there was electrical hook ups, but there weren’t. The campsite was nice enough to offer to move me to a site that did have electricy, but one look and feel of the view I had right on the lake, I opted out of electricity.
So what I am doing now, is simply reflecting on my time so far. Today is July 15. I have been on the road for 2 weeks and 3 days and have yet to arrive in NM. What is funny, when I first had the inspiration to move to NM I said I was going to make a month journey out of it. Of course I tried to map out a course, things changed, my source changed, then I didn’t have the money I anticipated on so the amount of time changed and the one constant about this shift from the east coast to the south west… the plans changed even while I was in the midst of them! Ahhhh that is how the universe calls you on your hand called “TRUST”.
I suppose somewhere deep inside I knew this was the big deal about this journey… heck I even named this blog a journey of trust, but I was more thinking of the trust it took to leave my children and my 5 month old grandchild, my business and all my soul friends/family behind to start a life I cannot even wrap my mind around… not even!
Funny how much of my “original” plan is now unfolding. My first plan was to just show up in NM then figure out what it is I am going to be doing and where I am going to be living… but then that very untrusting mind (ego) set in and said you can’t do that (not to mention everyone in my life was not very calm about me doing that either). OK, I put a prayer request out to find a “roommate” situation and have a place to “live” as I arrived in NM. That same day it all worked out. That very same day one of the 3 craiglists ads I replied to seemed to be perfect. Hell, she was even planning on camping from NM to NJ…. What are the chances of that! I was so comfortable about shifting into life with this lady, and I sent out my “cleaning deposit” to secure my room for my arrival “sometime in July.” This was in early June… we had talked on the phone, on facebook, via email… I was really excited.
Then while I was camping in AR she sent out a document attachment in an email called “House Rules” (none of which were talked about in any of our previous conversations. As fate would have it, I couldn’t open it up in my blackberry and she assured me they were common sense rules but wanted to make sure everyone had a copy. Having just come from living with 3 other adults… we never had to make up house rules, we really knew how to live together and allow each their “own” and live within that frame of togetherness. Before I get to the rest of this story…. Let me share my camping experiences with you.
Chimney Rock NC was as wonderful as I expected it to be. Very grounding. What I didn’t expect was it to be filled with the spirit of my youngest daughter. Of course, her and I took an unexpected camping adventure there 3 years prior, and the first time I was in this location was when Hurricane Floyd threatened the coast of NC (where I was living) with a cat 5 hurricane and I took my children to Tennesse to be safe, we turned it into an awesome vactation. On the way back to NC we seen signs for “Chimney Rock” we were all intrigued with the name and went visiting… obviously the place left a beautiful mark on my soul.
Everywhere I went there was my daughters spirit, laughing, playing, getting down and dirty with nature. I had to pull her energy out of mine, the realization of not having her so connected to my life hurt, and even the removal was like allowing myself to bleed… it hurt in ways I didn’t expect. Of course she had been an integral companion on my soul journey for 10 years and now… she is not. I was grateful I had only booked 2 nights here… the bleeding last halfway to AR.
It was a 13 hour drive to my next campground in AR, and as I arrived, I made a pledge to myself not to drive 13 hours straight again… I couldn’t even feel my ass by the time I got out of the car to set up camp!
I stayed in an area just outside of Mount Ida, AR a place that is dubbed the largest crystal mines in all the world. I could feel that statement in every ounce of my Being. It seems there was truly a method to my madness in staying in a place that first got me deeply grounded (Chimney Rock) to set myself up for 5 days in a place that would elevate every cell within my body. I slept like a little baby my first night in AR… a straight 10 hours!!
When I awoke the first day in AR I sat next to the waters edge (which was really on a small cliff looking down onto the lake) I decided to do a meditation. I wasn’t really sure what kind of meditation I was going to do, but the moment I closed my eyes and breathed in the mornings rising sun… I was taken back to my medicine wheel in Vermont. I loved that wheel, the energy, the experiences of that place so much and I was delighted it remains in the annals of time allowing me to truly be there once again 8 years later! I said my prayers of thanx as I crossed over the outer circle of my wheel and headed towards the direction of the East and asked for her guiadance upon my path of life (as I did every day while I lived on the mountainside in Vermont). Each direction held the same theme in advice, that my life is about to get very busy and to be prepared for it. That I cannot fathom where this is all taking me, but I will have the chance to touch many lives as I move forward. Each direction of the wheel showed me the potential of that season within my own life… and I was overwhelmed and humbled. I cannot even remember the exacts of it all… I just know that I am stepping onto unfamiliar ground that is going to take a deep inner trust within myself…
As I moved into the center circle of my wheel I was instantly pulled down thru the ground and to mother earth. I could see her right leg bleeding… no hemorrhaging! I knew instantly that it was the oil gusher in the Gulf that was spilling out of her right leg (emotional walk forward in life) and I intuitively reached up thru the earth and got a handful of earth energy and placed it on the geyser what was on my mother’s leg… and I could se the light go up her leg and this feelting thought that said when you put fire on oil it explodes. Yikes! That was enough to end my meditation.
The next day an oil tanker overturned and blew up… I wonder even to now, if that was the explosion I felt… because if it ends up being the gases raising up from this rupture…. It could create a tsunami. Right now, I don’t want to know.
Imagine my surprise that when this meditation was I was so exhausted I had to take a nap… for 2 hours! I woke up, putzed around and by early afternoon was so exhausted again that I went down for a 2nd nap in the same day… for another hour and a half! The last time I took 2 naps in one day I was a baby in the crib… and other than driving for 13 hours straight, I hadn’t done a darn thing to be exhausted from! I was actually awakened from my 2nd nap by my son calling me. I ignored his first call, simply because I couldn’t seem to wake up… but when he called back within minutes, I knew there had to be something going on and I found the energy to answer the call. That is when I found out my cat of 6 and a half years, Snickers got hit by a car and died.
The dam of tears I had been holding onto since before I even left VA broke wide open! I cried, no, I sobbed for hours. I cried until there was nothing left inside of me… and it was then I could hear my cat… and she talked to me in a voice that was eerily like Julie Andrews… I kept thinking of all the times I could have petted her and didn’t the guilt in me rising up to overflow… and her love, as it was in life, was unwavering and unaccusing. She understood at profound levels (God what we could learn from that animal) of what the human Lisa was going thru, and she was content to be with me in whatever fashion that meant. But she also understood that my life is about to get very busy and that a cat is not a part of my future right now so she choose to leave, and will soon reincarnate into a kitten body and be someones pet until the day I am settled into my life and can have a cat again… she will then take on another cat body to be with me.
I so deeply understood the process of living, dying and living again in ways I never could have outside of this event. She will not let me feel sad in her absence, when that feeling wells up in me, she sends me a breeze and reminds me of something wonderful to smile about. The one thing I am sure about, she will come to me as a kitten years from now…. And with that, my heart is filled with love and hope and an understanding that is so beyond my humble words right now. Thank you Snickers for being a revealer of the Light… I love you!
I was sure I would be up all night after sleeping the better part of the day away…. Not even! I went to sleep just before dark and slept for 9 more hours!
When I awoke, my head felt like someone did the Mexican tap dance all over the bottom rim of my skull all night long. There was this strange ache that outlined the entire area of the bottom of my skull. I realized it was in alignment with my Medulla Oblongata (the brain stem) and I am sure whatever energy is working here in AR is enhancing that area of my body… which of course is connected deeply to the Pineal Gland which is currently changing from carbon based to Crystalline based… I rubbed my head in order to remove some of the pain (didn’t work) gave my thanks and went down for yet another 2 hour nap!
When I finally awoke, the ache still very much in place, I said I didn’t come here to sleep… I came here to be with the crystals. I don’t care how tired I am… I am doing something other than sleep!
To be continued in another blog….. (tomorrow?)
With love, joy and unprecedented trust!
(((((HUGZ))))
Lisa
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