My Own Changing Landscape... Again!!

It is actually kinda funny to watch your own life and the movements within that as a neutral observer.  This vantage point allows you to witness it, witness yourself and all the players on your life's stage from a completely different perspective when your not all caught up in what is happening.

When I got the inner prompting to move from my very nice and enjoyable life in New Mexico back here to Virginia, I was so caught by surprise.  However, I knew I needed to come back here to Virginia to help my son. Funny how we, the human, the ingrained old energy mother, can assume so many different things.

When I thought of helping him, my mind thought of financially helping, being a great babysitter for my grandson so they can go out, allowing full use of my car since their's died.  Not one since single time did I ever think the help I would share, both for him as well as myself, maybe even... especially myself was to end the relationship.  At least, end it the way it had been for 28 years.

But coming back here to Virginia was about closing a lot of doors I left open when I moved to New Mexico in June of 2010.  My drivers license was still valid here in VA, even tho I have one in New Mexico.  My car registration was still valid here in VA, even tho I transferred it to New Mexico.  These things, I assumed were done naturally thru the states, not so much.  I discovered this when I went to pay $500 property tax they charged me for my vehicles, even tho they, and I were in VA.  There were other doors and relationships that were left open when I left, that needed to be closed. I would have never seen the 3 months of being back here filled with closings and endings.  I really assumed it was going to be filled with new beginnings.  In a way it is, just not here.

Now that whole family thing... that is a force to be reckoned with.  My God it can bleed your life dry with guilt, expectation and demands.  Mothers are not ever supposed to have their own life, their own desires.  We should be at the beck and call of the children... forever!  That is the relationship I have allowed, that I have nurtured by my own actions.  At least, until this last 2 months.

I think, in all the things in my life I had to change, this dynamic is by far the hardest.

The first week of living in a hotel instead in the dysfunctional bosom of my family was the hardest.  The guilt flying thru the phone lines... the demands, the expectations and conditions.  When I found that quite centered place within myself, my team would simply ask me a question that really seemed crazy at the time... but isn't at all.

If, during the course of this time, I was to literally die and leave my body... what then?  What do you take with you?  Is it your family?  No, it is the love from having been within that family.  The dynamic changes.  Life changes.  Relationship's are forever altered, as needed.

That last, pesky vestibule of old energy...

The first month of living here in this hotel was so wonderful.  The solitude, the expansion, the readings in the higher landscape of light without ever having to come back down into the discordant was very much like heaven.  It so served a great purpose in my life.

I had reached out many times to connect and share with my son, only to have been slapped away by his own demands and expectations.  It became easier and easier to pick the energy out of my heart and grow distant from it.  I have truly died to that version of myself and cannot even come close to fitting myself in the old boxed in relationship.  How oddly freeing that is.

These last two weeks have moved me from feeling nourished and cared for by the universe to down right feeling isolated from life.  This too needed to be a shift within me, so when the next sudden wave of movement came, I would flow without digging my feet in the ground...

This isolation from life grew stronger by the day and finally on the 19th I demanded to my universe (smile)... I am done.  I have loved and appreciated living life this way, but I need some physical people in my life.  All day long I was quite demanding... and who to my awe-struck eyes would appear... Archangel Michael.

Awe-struck because I never "seen" him before.  I have connected with his energy for a decade, but he never ever showed himself and only came when I called on him personally.  There he is, standing in full life size view at the foot of my bed... just looking at me.  He didn't say a single word.  His attire was extraordinary... he reminded me of old old royalty.  He had on this outfit of violet and blue... I cannot even describe what he looked like... and if it wasn't for the fact I know his energy and personal signature so well, I would have thought him someone or something else.

The more I demanded he help me know where to go or what to do, the more he just stared lovingly at me.  Pissed me off really.  He pointed to the ceiling and what a strange sight should appear there.  3 holes... black energy I suppose.  Two were almost faded from view, the center one was clear as a bell visually.  Then it started to rain red and blue energy from the ceiling.  I thought... what the hell is that??  My angel of few words had no words at all to share with me.  Pesky Michael!

I knew it meant I had three choices, one opens the energy to which my life is lived.  2 blocks the energy until I choose again.  But what the hell are the choices man!!??

I kind of wish I didn't understand this path, this journey so well.  I could rightly have my own temper tantrum and blame it all on Michael and not being clear!  So I did the only thing I knew to do... I asked for help in my dream time.

Like that would be so much clearer!! lol  Not even!  I was given a two part dream... the first part I seen myself leaning up against a wall.  I was semi-translucent and full of that light blue color I now know is the soul itself.  I could tell, all I had to do was push that wall in... and I would be free, but, instead I contemplated it.  Somewhere within me, I knew... I just knew if I pushed the wall down, life will never ever be the same again. My relationships will never be the same again.  I could choose to simply remain here... leaning up against the final wall taking me to the place I dedicated every single moment of my life towards (at least for the last 11 years).

The next scene was very different.  I was sitting in a house and it may have been Christmas or a birthday or something that one celebrates and gets presents for,  I was given this box that contained the kewlest device I had ever seen.  It was a cross between a laptop and a hand held ipad thingie.  There was a lid that you can open and close, and the lid had this really interesting wave at the lip.  It was sleek and shiny and I was lost.  I opened the lid and there were like a couple apps on the screen, none of which I recognized.  I heard a voice that came from all around me and no where when I asked... what is this?  I was told it was the latest thing out by google maps.  If I ever need to know where I am going, all I have to do is use this divice.  Really?  That seems kewl.  I was also told it is always connected to the internet, I never have to worry about not being connected.  I love that!!  The next thing I knew, I woke up.  Hey... no one told me how to work it!!

All day long I seen this device clearly.  All day long I demanded to know how to use it.  Silence!

I had also noticed something changed in the readings... again.  Everyone I was reading for was now a single snapshot of energy.  Showing where they are presently, but nothing beyond that.  I also understood that the entire world, every person within it, is equally at their own life choice point.  Then I also remembered we are in the intense power node of energy, the first one since the 11:11 avalanche of higher light onto the earth.  The choices, no matter how big or seemingly insignificant, is changing the worlds landscape as we know it.  December will really start to reveal what that all means.

The evening of the 20th I went to sleep once again demanding clarity to my life's movement.  I awoke in a strange place.  Both in the void, I could feel the void everywhere and a certain unmistakable clarity of movement. I had seen and felt a strange sort of cloud of energy holding New Mexico within it at least for the next 3-4 months (that time frame was so incredibly clear as well.)

I know the void well.  I also know it must accompany life changing choices.  I instantly chose New Mexico.  Now the whole thing is... when do I leave.  I am truly dedicated to my reading schedule, so I decided that I would travel Dec. 1st (I renew my week here at the hotel every Thursday.)  My own income has slowed way down as it does during the holiday season, so in order to make the Dec 1st goal financially my son would have to pay me back the several hundred dollars he owed me, which he flat out refused to do.  Ok, next option, don't pay another week here at the hotel and that would be my gas money.  I am moving this Thursday the 24th.  Of course now I have a whole week of readings I must reschedule... again!  But considering I am still in the void, and probably will be here until I make my shift back to New Mexico... there isn't much I can do anyway.

I find the quickness interesting as well.  For months now, I see December as this odd void of energy period.  It seems my spirit wants me to be back in my New Mexico landscape prior to that date, instead of being on the road during that time.

And today, as I share this moment, I remember the 3 holes on my ceiling.  I did indeed come up with three choices since I have been here.  I thought about moving back to Pennsylvania, my birthplace and where so many of my biological family still lives.  Stay here in Virginia.  Move back to New Mexico.

Let's just say that the Lisa that got me to here, to this very moment of time, truly did die in the ocean a couple weeks ago.  The biology no longer has the strangle hold it had once held.  A freedom of flight is at hand... and I am pushing thru the wall into the next great, high adventure!!

Lordy... Life... is never boring!!
On the road again... I just can't wait to get on the road again!!

(((HUGZ)))) filled with higher choices for all!
Lisa Gawlas
www.mysoulcenter.com/energy_readings.html